If you think Rusty Barnes has it hard having a younger brother who is a better player than him, spare a thought for lithe, powerful Greg Spencer who has reached the peak of his game only to discover his sister is far and away the best player in the family, and has the England Caps to prove it. Try as he might, he might as well face facts that people would much rather share a shower with Catherine than him. Sorry Greg.

Firmly at the back of the queue when the big man was dishing out the talent to his brother and sister, Martin more than makes up for it with a heart as big as the badgers he regularly culls in the Peak District, a wicked sense of humour and a preternatural ability to predict where to place his squirrel traps. He’s always first on the pitch giving it the max and can be relied on never to have any tape.

One half of infamous touring double-act with Doctor Cloke, Spicer’s antics are legendary and including drinking the same pint, twice, providing secure banking for spare coins and a preternatural skill with horses.  His crowning moment was being described as having the agility of an antelope without legs whilst playing Number Eight on tour.  A former club captain at Folkestone and frustrated forward, Spice's favourite tricks of carving up defences and bone shaking tackles have sadly meant he has lived out his playing days in the back line, when really he was born to flank. With a great rugby brain and uncommon vision (like all other back row forwards), he has the rare knack of making those outside him look class, even when it is some overweight prop forward struggling to return from the last ruck. Cost Folkestone promotion when he decided to run a penatly in front of the posts when the kick would have sealed it, but everyone has forgotten about that now Spice. A fierce drinking machine just "never spirits, they make me sick" and you just don't want to see him being sick. Noted for playing the first 20 minutes of the second Uden tournament sat in the Lotus position on the 10 yard line.

A frustrated flanker and a no nonsense prop who specialises in rearranging the opposition props vertebrae whilst providing a lazy-boy armchair ride for his own hooker. Gary is equally at home on either side of the scrum or at the bar with a glass of fine wine and a big cigar. One of Stella’s most travelled players Gary boasts representative honours for the Army and combined services. A most popular player not least for his alter ego as the man who controls stewarding at Twickenham. The only blot on Gary’s career remains an incident in a league game for Folkestone where he wiped his forehead on an opposition player (a replacement) and was harshly banished to the stands.

Psssst, want any paperclips, I can do you a deal on pencil sharpeners? Davis as he's affectionately known, has a plan and strategy for every conceivable rugby move, sadly his hamstrings are rarely able to pull them off. As well as seeing Davis on the physio table, you almost always see him immaculately dressed and well groomed, sadly the salt and pepper hair is beginning to show his age, and his trademark head butt has appreciably slowed. Happiest near the bar, he'll always have some advice to give and keeps the team well stocked with pens.